Celebrating Three Years February 14, 2023 by Jessica StapfShareTweetSharePinFull transparency, this post might not be for everyone but I felt the nudge to share because I believe one woman out there needs to hear it… 11 years ago I made a decision that changed my life emotionally and physically. My story is mine and I acknowledge that women who have done what I did make their choices for different reasons and that being said please know this is coming from a place of love, not judgment. I had decided my body was not good enough the way it was after living my whole life with what some called, “tiny bubbles” and nursing two babies added another layer. So I made the decision that implants were the answer. I was so excited to look like all the women who looked sexy and all the other things that come with it. Little did I know that was not the case for me, ok maybe for a short bit but, the feeling faded fast. I will never forget my surgeon saying to me, “Women don’t get implants for their man, they do it for themselves.” He was onto something because when I reflected back I lacked a certain confidence that I was seeking, but sadly all I ended up with was a lot of symptoms that at times were easy to blame on my job. Until I was no longer doing that job and the things I was experiencing didn’t go away. Fast forward a few years I started hearing about so many women experiencing what I was and some even worse and that’s when things started to unfold. I spent my next two years researching and trying to heal but nothing was working. Then one day I decided my next step was implant removal which was a process of its own. Finding the right surgeon while trying to trust the process. Honestly, it played with my head. I felt in my core this was the right thing for me yet it meant that I had to admit I made a wrong choice for my body years before and my heart was sad but at the same time filled with hope. Hope for healing… my mind didn’t want to go through this but my heart knew I had to. Fast forward to February 11, 2020, my life was changed again. This time it was instantly better NO JOKE… I woke up from surgery and for the first time in eight years, I could take a full breath. I cried tears of gratitude. I didn’t care what people thought or what I would look like after everything was healed because I could breathe! And I never looked back. I love my body. Without them, I feel like me, “tiny bubbles” and all. I feel sexier without them, I look in the mirror and see me again, the healing is real things I didn’t even know I was experiencing were going away. To this very day, I smile when I think of my journey because it’s part of what makes me who I am, scars and all. That one decision to do the explant brought me to a season of one thing after another leaving my body. Things I thought were from my job was from something I decided to put into my body and my body rejected it because it was not right for me. Ladies, if you have made the same decision and you are not feeling well and can’t figure out why this post may be for you. And I’m here for you if you want to talk. The picture on the left is me in 2018. I may look confident but I’m many ways I wasn’t. I was sick in many ways and my body hurt. The one on the right is me today, filled with confidence and gratitude that my body is always there for me even when I make decisions it doesn’t prefer. One of the biggest joys for me now is I am healthy and when I give you a hug there is nothing between my heart and yours. Thank you for holding the space for me to be vulnerable about something that has impacted my life and thousands of other women.